Facebook, Feedback and the Church

Learning about Facebook has been an interesting ride. I had so many preconceived notions and repulsions toward it, yet now I’m thinking it’s simply a reflection of what our world hungers for, to be engaged with others. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a big fan of reading about one of my “friends” eating a muffin for breakfast versus a bagel. And I certainly could care less if another friend is “off to do laundry” but underlying all this mundane jargon seems to lie a deeper truth. A simple gesture to engage with others in whatever way seems relevant at that precise moment.
Having teen-agers now, I find it harder and harder to find ways to spend time with them so if they want to talk about a bagel, I’ll take it! I wonder, however, if my engagement with them is not less but simply different now that they are finding their independence? Maybe my presence is good enough? Maybe just being around, not necessarily doing something with them or for them, is what they need most? Maybe I just need to listen?
I’m struck by what I recently read in a book about Facebook under a chapter subheading “Listening to Feedback”. The author alludes that Facebook was invented by a generation who wants to be engaged rather than talked at. Who doesn’t, right? But what’s interesting to me is that this whole Facebook revolution seems to be about something much deeper than whether my “friend” is bummed because she has to go out and shovel snow. Maybe she just wants to be heard and maybe even responded to? Not a literal response necessarily but a response that lets her know that she’s not alone in her dismay of shoveling snow but that others can relate to her situation. Isn’t that what we all need? Just a simple acknowledgment that what we feel, care about or think is worthy of attention and even possibly some feedback.
What would this be like if the church was more open to this kind of acknowledgment and feedback? Instead of sitting in front of some lectern Sunday after Sunday, being preached at about something that usually has much more to do with the pastor’s needs rather than what congregation members may actually need, what if pastors asked a question once in awhile or even better, asked for some kind of feedback? Asked the congregation to engage and respond to what God is actually doing in their lives? Wouldn’t that be a whole different story? Wouldn’t that just automatically encourage listening and responding? And wouldn’t that make a congregation feel heard and affirmed rather than talked at and around?
Maybe the mainline churches who are struggling and losing membership day after day could take a break from the three-point sermon and read a book about Facebook. It’s all laid out pretty plainly and it doesn’t take a divinity degree to decipher it’s meaning. The world seems to be evolving to a deeper place of connectedness and this younger generation is leading the way. They/we may not want to sit on the side lines and listen to “professionals” anymore but may want to engage in the conversations at hand, whatever those might be. And what better way to find out what conversations are going on all around us than to pose a question and ask.