More Freedom for the Material Girl

Image via WikipediaIt’s become more and more apparent to me that I’m a child of the 80's.  I may have been born in the late 60's but my high school and college years spanned the full spectrum, 1981-1989.  Not only do I remember the Reagan years as the “all about me” years but I can hear just about any 80's tune and know precisely where I was and who I was hanging out with at the time of it’s release.

Now, I don’t think this makes me a pop junkie necessarily but it does tell me about who I was then and who I am becoming now.  So much of the 80's was about image and I mean big time!  We had big hair, big boots, big earrings and big wallets full of money.  Not only did we waste a whole lot of time at the Mall, we worked there too!  

It really was “all about us” but then again, who were we really?  My favorite song of all times and one that puts the 80's into perspective for me is the single “Freedom  ‘90  by George Michael.  Getting his star status in the band “Wham ”, he seems to magnify all that was good and not so good about the 80's.   He, along with the rest of us, were big and loud and lots of fun!   We had to be, it was the 80's for God’s sake!

What this song did for me and perhaps for him as well was help me come down a notch.  Dressing me down from the larger than life appeal of the 80's to a much more real and vulnerable me of the 90's and beyond.  We, and by that I mean Michael and I, seemed to be transitioning at the same time and like many songs in my life “Freedom  ‘90  became more of a symbol rather than a song.

Heaven knows I was just a young boy, didn’t know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl’s pride and joy and I guess it was enough for me
To win the race?  A prettier face  Brand new clothes and a big fat place
on your rock and roll TV.  But today the way I play the game is not the same no way
Think I’m gonna get myself happy

And so it goes, a swan song for Michael in many ways (he never released another hit single after that song) and for me, the beginning of a long journey to finding me.

I think there’s something you should know, I think it’s time I stopped the show
There’s something deep inside of me, there’s someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame, don’t think that I’ll be back again
I just hope you understand, sometimes the clothes do not make the man

Yes, the 80's exemplified all the facades that one creates in order to fit in and cope with all the demands of growing up and boy did the 80's demand the biggest of egos!   It was all about success and the bigger the better, as I remember.  What happened after that, I don’t really remember.  All I know is that the bigness of things began to shrink and the normalcy of life began to change and I found myself finding more and more freedom along the way. 

Losing the bling has been life-giving and not so easy when you’re a material girl from the 80's!   Why some choose to do it and others don’t is a mystery in itself.  I guess, it’s not as easy as it sounds and what I’ve read about Michael’s life lately, it isn’t something to take lightly either.  Even so, Michael seemed to have the best intentions at the time: “All we have to do now, is take these lies and make them true somehow.”
How about you?  What kind of bling do you still carry around?  What untruths might you still be holding dear?  Do your clothes still make you who you really are or is it time to get yourself happy?

Do it Anyway!

There’s a strange saying going around my house.  Perhaps you may have heard it too?  It sounds a bit whiny and even nasal at times.  It's often followed by a gasp, annoyed intonation or a rolling of the eyes.  Yes, you guessed it, it sounds like this:  “But I don’t feel like it! ” 

This exacerbated adolescent response to just about anything from picking up socks, feeding the dog, taking out the garbage or doing homework seems to be a staple for today’s teenager.  Similar to the “terrible two’s” when every request is followed by an accentuated “No! ” yet strangely unattractive coming from an over-sized child.  Not sure how this happened, but very sure that “not feeling like it” is an epidemic amongst kids this age who, for one reason or another, want “to feel” rather than “do!” 

My friend, whose ancestors come from Ghana and who was raised in England, is quite baffled by the typical American teenager.  This high emotional intelligence seems to trump all other things, especially anything requiring the least bit of effort.  Why these same kids who are quick to diagnose fellow students with “anger issues” or “ADD/ADHD” or “depression” but can’t get a simple task done without “feeling like it” first, is a mystery to me!

Don’t get me wrong, emotional intelligence is important, and has certainly come a long way since I was a teenager, but then again, I had a job in high school!  In fact, my friend and I had a monopoly on babysitting jobs in our neighborhood and were busy every Saturday night from the age of 12 whether we liked it or not!

I wonder if the pendulum swing has swung a bit too far and allowed emotions to override that which quite simply, just needs to be done.  Maybe I’m giving my kids too much room to emote and not enough room to just do?  Or maybe, I just need to continue saying that which comes naturally these days: “You don’t always have to feel like it, sometimes you just need to do it!” 

I use this quite a bit with my high school students and now that we are coming to the end of the year, I’m making some headway.  One of my students just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he had to fill out a “stupid form” for me in order to get a grade.  For some reason, he thought that if he “didn’t feel like it,” he didn’t have to do it.  After eight months of repeating the same message that he didn’t actually have to feel like doing it in order to get it done, I made a connection!

Somehow, someway, the message got through that filling out a form wasn’t rocket science but simply an activity that allowed me to grade his work and in reality had very little to do with feelings at all.  Now, this extremely bright student is getting the “A” he deserves and I’m getting the satisfaction of seeing him master something other than his knowledge of how he might be “feeling” about something at any given time. 

Now, whether picking up his socks at home is still determined by his feelings, I don’t know, but at least he has the tools now to master that too whether he’s feeling like it or not!
How about you?  Do you ever keep yourself from doing something that needs to be done because you don’t feel inspired?  Maybe just do it and reward yourself later.  Maybe inspiration will follow?

Let Your Body Choose Today's Exercise

I don’t like to exercise!  I mean, the thought of intentionally moving my body is so unappealing that I’d rather just forget the whole thing.  As a youngster, I was quite athletic.  In fact, in high school,  I made the varsity tennis team as an incoming freshman!  I guess, now, left to my own devices, I’d just much rather write at my computer or read a book. 

Luckily, my metabolism has cooperated most of my life so I’ve gotten away with sitting around much longer than some.  Unfortunately, however, I’m becoming painfully aware that my metabolism is changing and that having some kind of a daily exercise routine is definitely in order.

Walking the dog has been helpful but not nearly enough.  I even live in a  neighborhood with parkways and green ways that is very conducive to outdoor living, yet I seem to walk my dog just long enough to recognize a neighbor and chat for 15 - 20 minutes.  My dog being old doesn’t help much because he’s usually ready to turn around and go home as soon as I’m done talking too!

My husband and I had bicycles until they were stolen from our garage.  After the second time, we gave up and replaced them with scooters.  Harder to steal and much more fun to ride.

Not wanting to waste time traveling to a gym, changing, showering, etc, I decided I’d rather not have to leave the house to exercise if at all possible.  And that’s when I discovered FIT TV on my cable.  They broadcast a variety of exercise programs that run in ½ hour or one hour segments and include anything from yoga to aerobics to belly dancing.  I find this system fits me because I simply tape an exercise program that appeals to me, work out with it and then decide if I want to keep it on file or not.  If yes, it gets logged into my DVR file and I can return to it whenever want.  If not, I erase it, never to be bothered with it again!

What I’ve discovered, over the past few months, is that my body seems to know what work out I need and when.  Instead of looking at the list of workouts I’ve recorded and over-thinking things, I just let my body decide.  Not knowing what workout my body will choose and when, is a bit thrilling, I admit.  Sometimes it chooses something expected and other times, it chooses something unexpected and I just go with it anyway!
How my body knows what exercise it needs is a mystery.  All I know is that it gives me great pleasure and relief to know that my body is in control of it’s own health. I don’t have to over think it or feel guilty about not doing what I think my body wants me to do or what I think I’m supposed to do.  It just simply knows and I just simply listen.

How about you?  What does your body need today?  More rest, more exercise, less stress?  What can you do for your body today without thinking about it too much?  Just ask it, you might be surprised at what is tells you!